29. Coronavirus (Covid19), death of the handshake

Remote working:
It has always repulsed me that in this day and age with the technological advancements we have and companies constantly grandstanding on how ‘green’ they are that the option of remote working remained a battle for a lot of employees, fossil management styles and mindsets are a big part of the problem “you can’t manage a team remotely” is the constant feedback KMT (Kissing my teeth).

In a company I worked at several years ago, a particular wet blanket said “just because the company is embracing working from home, it does not mean you guys get to do it, I want my team in the office”.

Archaic managers not willing to adapt to the future but are usually the first to tout their commitment to being green are ironically contributing to climate crisis; the impact/costs of commuting and being in the office have knock on effects, even down to the little details you might not think of such as after school clubs and the purchasing of new products that are ‘vegan’ friendly (including sending current leather chairs to landfill to buy vegan friendly ones), it all adds.

Most average days in the office are like this, you come in, get the morning chat out and sit down and get on with it, minus the usual I.T. issues and chats with colleagues you’re pretty much just in the office for the sake of ‘being’ present, oh and of course the meetings, can’t forget those dam meetings *rolls eyes*.

We should have a hybrid initially:
In services companies and many back/middle office roles, companies should rent smaller office spaces with two external monitors attached to each desk and the relevant CABLE to connect the PC (Yes this happens), have teams in once or twice a week where possible but rotate which days teams come in, i.e. Monday Finance and compliance, Tuesday HR and Legal, Wednesday Marketing and sales etc, the drop in rent costs and of course business rates would be significant.

I will be a hypocrite and say the only people I don’t agree with giving remote access to is I.T. as anyone who’s work in an office knows, raising a ticket is painful enough (with the endless options/boxes), even when they remote connect they still don’t always get what you’re on about so an onsite quick fix is great plus when the external monitors don’t work (always happens), we need a quick I.T. fix not a ticket.

Information security, paper based roles, employee boredom, mental health, presence (can be important for progression), social interactions and meetings (joking about the last one), would all be things that will be teething pains but can be worked out, it won’t be worked out if we don’t start to implement it from now.

Selfish employer and worker:
If the virus taught me anything it’s humans are stupid and panic easy and no answer is the right answer, for years people have been complaining about letting sick people in the flipping office which makes others sick, resulting in people passing on flu etc to their families and friends but the corporate slave machine only cared about reducing sick days.
Sick days became a prime time target forcing people to come in sick instead of forcing companies to adapt, but here comes Covid19 and as soon as companies flipping profits are in danger “work from home NOW” it’s f*****g sickening, on top of that you had HSBC only closed ONE damn floor! ONE! initially when a member of staff had the virus, PATHETIC, when you think said member of staff probably used the lift, canteen and toilets it’s laughable oh and don’t forget some staff use toilets on other floors! That whole dam building should have been on lock.
Companies constantly talk about ‘contingency plans’ in case of fires etc to the main building; most of these plans would not be so dramatic if working from home was more prevalent.

The problem with modern day office setup is it’s been this way before the internet, before mobile phones and we are still working the same dam way which piggy backs of the school system; i.e. put them all in one place; mobility is the greatest strength a business can have and it’s time to ‘use internet‘ and allow more flexibility, I might want to take my laptop to the park, I might want to work at a library that closer to home or coffee shop but what I don’t want to do is be stuck in the same dam fricking seat for goodness knows how long…… ugh!

Oh and it’s time to kill the handshake:
Finally, can we say goodbye to the dam handshake, nasty people who sneeze and don’t wipe their hands or go to the lavatory and don’t wash their hands, pick this noses, lick their fingers YUK!!! end this filthy practice!


Image from: http://dominicwilcox.com/portfolio/handshake/

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