37. Someone’s done you wrong; let it go

You’ve been done wrong; possibly in your personal/professional life, maybe you was: stabbed in the back, stolen from, cheated on, disrespected, you were passed up for a promotion you deserved, HR screwed you over, you ended up with a terrible line manager or was lied to.

Whatever it is, learn from it but let it go; holding onto that negative moment can mess you up in the long run.

I don’t believe all things can be forgiven; if you are the type who knows how to get revenge and that gives you peace, do you, I’m not here to judge.

This is for those who carry the hurt, anger, frustration and resent but continually blame themselves and it eats away at them ruining their social

Forgive, don’t forget, question what you may have done to get into that situation in the first place & learn from it.

I made the brutal mistake of holding on to my resentment; I took my resent with me everywhere and it did me no damn good.

The burning fire that lived with me; ended up turning into a case of spontaneous human combustion on my mind, emotions and health.

I changed and if I’m honest with you; I can’t say if it’s for the better or worse; I started walking around treating new employers and colleagues as snakes, I had a chip on my shoulder, I also became more closed off and became more happier with just coming into a situation and talking to no one and going home.

The same behaviour grew in my personal life too; I started cutting people off with the end goal of being alone;, if you think of friendship as a beautiful garden with amazing flowers, I could only see the insects and creepy crawlies, and not the overall beauty.

In short; I was feeling sorry for myself but this made it impossible to boost my career or even work with others, whether we want to admit it or not; most jobs or things require working with others, and putting up a ‘get away from’ me aurora makes this challenging to say the least.

You see, I thought I was being shrewd by my new “get away from me” demeanour but I wasn’t; I was being scared; sometimes being scared of being hurt, will get you hurt! A lesson I learned the hard way.

It was a former colleague of mine who said something which really stuck with me, to paraphrase, she said she is strong enough to handle being disappointed by people, she will not let bad experience stop her from having new good experiences.

When she said this at the time, I thought of her as a naïve hippy, but the more I thought of those words, the more I realised she was right, thank you former colleague.

I was watching G.I Jane after the whole Will Smith stuff and there was a beautiful quote on there I had not heard before; it goes:  

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.” – D. H. Lawrence

It was hearing that; that put things into perspective, I was stuck in self pity and if I want to live the life, I actually want to live, letting go is the only option.

Not everything can be forgiven, but to harbour resentment means you hold onto the person/incident also; by forgiving, you let go of both.

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